Jitters

I was meant to go to a wedding today, but, on the way, a friend offered me a fistful of readies for two gigs in town. With the prospect of cold hard cash available I got The Fear, bailed on the ceremony and sharpened my sleeves. How could I say no? Who was I to turn down all those fresh and crispies when my green stock was running so dangerously low. I mean, I felt kinda bad about missing the wedding, especially as I’d rsvp’d an' all, but I had a need, and as all love can be bought, my guilt subsided. Then it got strange. When I turned up to the first show they cancelled the gig, everyone was out enjoying the sun, or world cup or whatever, no-one was eating. As soon as they’d wiped out on me, my phone rang and the second show pulled. Maybe I was meant to be at this wedding. Maybe it was in the stars. I looked at my watch and sixty minutes later I was in Cambridge, following my fate to see what would transpire. I started with a banana milkshake, as that happened to cost the exact amount of change I had on me, a sure sign. Then I got the first bus that came. Not so much of a sign this one, as it took an hour, went the wrong way and made me half an hour late. And then I was at the wedding. Scared witless. Man, they are some scary place to be. I don’t know what to do, what to say, I’m usually popping around doing magic at them, so to be a punter… well I felt like a fraud you know. Couldn’t I be doing some card tricks, and ignoring my deep seated fear of commitment? Are you married, someone asks me. Do I look unhappy? I reply. He doesn't laugh. He says, what's wrong with being married? Nothing, I say, I'm just mindbendingly terrified of it. What else are you scared of? he says. Not being married, I reply.