Slim Pickings

So maybe I'm the bad guy here, but I for one have always judged a book by its cover. Nothing other. I know that goes against the received wisdom, but hey, that's what swings my vote. I hardly ever buy a book based on a review, it's rare I pick up a recommendation, and if I see it on the tube it doesn't stand a chance. Anything recommended by a lifestyle magazine or tv presenter is out the window, as are staff picks and page turners; I don't want to strain my wrist now do I? Books with a question mark in the title are bad news, as is anything purporting to be 'laugh out loud funny' or 'the best book I've read this year'; euphemisms for 'I know the author/publisher' and 'I don't read'. And don't even get me started on the Richard and Judy Book Club. So mostly I just sift the shelves for the shiniest cover or the prettiest illustration, minimilism or matt finishing are big draws, as is black and white photography, and anything that someone has gone to the bother of translating. Yeah ok, so basically I'm a snob.