Drinking Contest

I hate pub quizzes. I think of myself as pretty clever and there is nothing more damaging to that illusion as being outsmarted by a bunch of drunks. Where do these bums and dropouts pick up all this extraneous knowledge? Far as I can tell they spend their lives creating bar stool sculptures of their ass cheeks, not cramming the Britannica and taping University Challenge. Maybe the labels they constantly peel off bottles contain some secret source of knowledge, or perhaps alcohol gives a lucidity to the drinker far beyond that of the sober. Is that's why it's so popular; sure you lose all boundaries in social interaction and vomit on your mother, but you gain fresh insights into the world cup team of '82 and can name all seven of The Bangles.