Shut Eyes

I'm in a fresh patch of insomnia... three hours sleep I consider to be a good night. I am caught in the mechanics of shut eye, the 'how do I' of fall asleep. Is there a moment? a spilt second between wake and sleep, or is it a gradual thing, a fade out over the titles. I want to learn to trigger it, to become narcoleptic at will. It drives me crazy that I sleep so badly, my eyes hurt, they are sore and heavy and everyone looks the same, deja vu occuring at every gig, the world appears to have a cast of ten, bit part characters playing all roles. I have no focus, no concentration, I'm in a bubble, so very very tired. Last night I did my hair, it didn't work, I did it again, it didn't work, I did it again but by now there was a mass of congealed wax, gel and mousse lodged in my locks and I couldn't go on. I stepped into the shower to wash away the products, and as water cascaded over me, I noticed that I happened to be fully clothed. In the shower. With ten minutes to go. At times like these an amused dislocation sets in, and I sat in my front room, toweling my hair off, water dripping from my soaked suit, shirt and tie, watching the Simpsons, letting the couch get steadily wetter and wetter, not so bothered that people may have to wait longer than usual tonight for their card tricks.