Over Charged

Over the last few days I have been generating dangerous levels of static electricity. I'm not sure why. Initially I thought it was just a new jumper I'd bought, as every time I pulled it off I'd crackle like 1 in 3 Rice Krispies and create lightning storms with the nearest metallic surface. But then it happened twice today and I was definitely in tried and tested regular non-sparky clothing, in fact at one point today I got a nasty shock off a clothes hook and all I was wearing was a hospital gown! (by the way, they let me wear pants this time!) I don't know what is creating all this excess atomic frisson... maybe it's my new haircut? Seriously, maybe that's the downside of having hair this great? Well, if the price I have to pay for looking this damn fine is avoiding major gas leakages and people with pacemakers, then so be it. Who knows, maybe I'll get a gig as a portable defibrillator?