Too Personal Hygiene?

Am I the only guy to shampoo my... now how shall I put this... my ground floor carpeting? My monkey in pyjamas? My thermal winter winkle warmer? Am I on my own here? Oh and I don’t mean to be sexist, but I hope I’m talking mainly to the men and the feminists here if you get my meaning... basically people I'm not going to date. You know how it is, you’ve just washed your hair, you're waiting for the conditioner to set in, and you think, well… since I’m here… it is getting a little greasy down there... But you know what? I don't think I am on my own, there are obviously others, otherwise they wouldn't have that warning about avoiding contact with your eye. And guys, let me tell you, that is a very important warning! Do NOT get any of that shampoo near your little soldier! He may only have one eye, but he'll make up in brutality for what he lacks in numbers! You'll find out just why they suggest seeking medical attention, especially if it's menthol. But people, if you're dithering, it's worth taking that risk, because afterwards it is so much easier to style; a nice little side parting, curtains or a comb-over, you're in charge! I should really buy my own brush though, all those curly hairs are making my sister quite cross.