Untitled No Longer

I am a Master of Performance. Officially. Last week I wore a gown and shook some lady's hand which apparently makes it all official. And it's great! I haven't been Master since I was little, when I very occasionally got letters addressed to Master John van der Put. Then I grew up and became a Mister and that's where it all went wrong. If you ask me, they call you Master in childhood because when you are young you think you know everything. And maybe you do know everything, it's just as you grow older that you begin to forget it all, until eventually you come of age and know nothing. And things get mistier and you miss the boat, and they call you the mist-er, the missed-a, the Mister. And you live through life decaying and dismaying the regrets and regressions... Where's the medicine cabinet?