Lifting the Lid

The toilet seat; that age old enemy to urinary masculine relievement everywhere. And why do I raise this? Well I think I might be missing something here- I always thought that when women complained about manfolk leaving the seat up they meant the cover, the lid, the bit with no hole in, and this being the case, I dismissed the notion as rather picky. So you can imagine the terror when I walked into a toilet to find the porcelain laid bare before me, all covering of wooden protection raised like some gaping boy-swallowing toilet jaw! You see the reason I was in such ignorance, was that never, not once in my short but oft urinating life had I ever lifted the lid to pee. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in the habit of sitting down to water the garden, I have just always been able to aim. It's hardly a chasm is it? You're not trying to hit a fly from the sky dangling from the light socket by your ankles are you? I mean c'mon the difference between a seated toilet and a bare porcelain rim is about 3 centimeters. How can that make the difference? Worst still according to some nameless males that I have discussed the issue with, even a deseated toilet doesn't provide enough bandwidth, and half the fluid ends up sprinkled liberally around the base. Come on guys, we're taking a piss, not the piss.