Late Night Tails

Emelié and I were lying on my bed, I, highly medicated. She asked
me to tell her a story. This was a bad idea. This was the story:

The owl was sitting in the tree eating carrots. Chup chup chup he ate. Each time he ate a carrot he would spin his head all the way round, chup chup, spin, chup chup, spin, that’s the way he ate. Then along came the rabbit, and rabbit was bored and looked up at the owl.
    ‘What are you doing?’ asked the rabbit.
    ‘chup chup- Eating carrots,’ replied the owl.
    ‘Oh. Why?’
    'Because I’m hungry.'
    'Oh.'
    ‘And they help me see in the dark.’
    ‘Oh.’
    ‘Would you like one?’ asked the owl.
    ‘No thank you," the rabbit sniffed, "I don’t eat carrots, I only eat cheese.’
    ‘Cheese? I thought rabbits ate carrots?’
    ‘I prefer cheese.’
    ‘Oh. Why don’t I give you these carrots and you can call them cheese. Then you will think you are eating cheese.’
    ‘That is a good idea.’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘But I am just off to the shop to buy some cheese. See you soon.’

And with that the rabbit left and went to Tesco Express. When he was there he went to the dairy section and picked up a cheese the size of the moon, or the size he imagined the moon to be, which to you or I is roughly as big as a frisbee. It was bigger than the rabbit though so he could hardly walk and had to balance it between his ears. He carried this to the checkout and dropped it on the conveying belt.
    ‘Do you have a club card?’ The checkout girl asked.
    ‘Why?’ Said the rabbit.
    ‘You get 50 extra reward points if you buy this.’
    ‘What are reward points?
    ‘They go on your club card.’
    ‘What’s a club card?’
    ‘It saves you money.’
    ‘Why would I have a club card, I’m a rabbit?’
    ‘Oh, yes, sorry.' She paused. 'How would you like to pay for this?’
    ‘Visa.’
So the rabbit put the cheese on his visa card and, balancing it carefully, he left the tesco express. He went back to the owl to eat his new cheese, but on the way he saw the other rabbit.
    ‘Have you got it?’ said the other rabbit.
    ‘No not yet,’ said the first rabbit.
    ‘You still haven’t got it?’ the other rabbit shouted angrily.
    ‘No, but I’ve got something else you can have.’
    ‘I’m gonna cut your ears off.’
    ‘I have a lot of cheese.’
    ‘Cheese?’
    ‘Yes, it was on special offer, and I would have got 50 extra reward points but I didn’t have a club card.’
    ‘I’m still gonna cut your ears off.’
    ‘Don’t you want some of my cheese?’
    ‘Well maybe. Ok. Yes, all of it! I am a greedy rabbit.’
So the first rabbit cut the cheese into quarters and gave the other rabbit some, secretly hoping he would get full up. All of a sudden the other rabbit looked up at the owl.
    ‘Look at all the cheese I got,’ said the other rabbit.
The owl didn’t say anything.
    ‘Hey owl, look at all the cheese I got.’
    ‘I am busy.’
    ‘Why are you eating carrots?’
    ‘I’m just pissing around.’